I have not blogged in a long time and a part of me feels like i have dropped the ball on my commitment to this process. On the other hand i am still practicing yoga daily and sometimes feel as though my commitment to “blog” and be interesting and relevant is distracting.
The Empowered Yoga mantra is: Show Up, Step to the Edge, Radiate Love and Let if go to Flow.
During my practices i have been setting the intention to really show up. Showing up happens not just by simply unrolling your mat everyday and going through the motions everyday. Through paying attention to my breath and my body i become aware of where my mind resides and instead of letting it pull me around like a plastic bag in the wind, i get anchored. I come back over and over. I create space. In this space i am present, i am pure, i am authentic, i am love.
As a mother of 3 and a teacher, i am less concerned these days with the spirituality hype and yoga as a complicated esoteric practice, or the proper pronunciation of sanskrit words or the “styles” in which i am certified to teach. For the past few months I have been standing on my head daily, “opening my heart” with backbends and trying on new “alignment” rules to correct my imbalances, which i have also been told are a result of repressed emotions and to be honest i don’t think any of these things has made a significant difference in my life. Sure i might be a little stronger, a little straighter but for some reason these things are not as important to me know as they were in my 20’s. Now that i am in my 30’s i can not think of too many intelligent reasons for doing a handstand or drop backs. Sure its pretty sweet, but seriously!
What really has made an impact in my life is: SHOWING UP. No not just on my yoga mat everyday but in the bigger picture.
In the spirit of report cards i asked my 7 year old daughter, Sienna (trust me these are the real gurus) what i was great at and where i am under achieving. Her answer was that i need to spend more time with her. My instant reaction was to break down, then i realized this was an opportunity to grow. My next reaction was to stroke my self important, stay at home mom and business owner medal and dismiss her, but instead i listened. I was occupying the mom space, but i was not being a mom. I was staying at home with the kids but was not playing at home with the kids. I was not showing up or at least not for her.
Its crazy how much effort we can put into a yoga pose, or growing a business, but when it comes to the most important things in our lives we don’t show up. We are too busy, too tired or too stressed out.
This week along with my physical practice of yoga, I showed up! The mundane became profound. I learned more from 60 min uninterrupted dates with my children than i could from a yoga pose, scripture, book or sutra. Showing up is my spiritual practice. On my death bed i am willing to bet i wont give a fuck if i missed my yoga practice one day, or if i sequenced my poses correctly, or how many followers i have on twitter, youtube or friends on Facebook. I will die peacefully knowing that showed up when and where it mattered, I was awake in the world and it was beautiful.